pioneering

.

The window is open, cool rain air blowing in. I don’t mind it

cooling my skin.

The colorless sky, the whole street view dimmed

near greyscale

like my slight view of you,

like the fog of my not knowing

exactly what to do.

Time moves around me: I think, I plan, I wait

in fear or perhaps second guessing,  I

attempt to recalibrate.

Apparently I was stupid to help those who

are either oblivious or do not care,

and realizing this

I need to become like a pioneer:

put fears aside

gather up but a few possessions

set off in a general direction

have hope and exhilaration

and then take stock,

stop

and set up camp

when I find a good place,

somewhere.

.